“You banged my head on the damn log.”

“You weighed more than the winner so you slowed me down.”

“You splashed mud in my face.”

“You were choking me; it was hard to breathe.”

“It’s a stupid competition anyway; I can’t believe you got me to do this.”

These are some of the phrases I imagine were muttered after the race this past weekend. It was Sunday River’s 12th annual North American Wife Carrying Championship.

While I’ve done the Tough Mudder the past two years and seen a number of fellow Tough Mudders and Triathletes, that seems far easier and safer than this event. I can only imagine the fights that take place after this event for everyone but the winner.

Anyone from the Bay Area who competed in this incredible yet strange competition: come on in; the first visit is on me. I can only imagine what that does to your body, not to mention your mind.